


Talking To A Friend

by Kallonimo



Series: Shakarian Quarantine Project [79]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, no beta we die like jenkins, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:20:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25831216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kallonimo/pseuds/Kallonimo
Summary: Shepard talks to Joker, about Garrus.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Series: Shakarian Quarantine Project [79]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751218
Comments: 9
Kudos: 45





	Talking To A Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt Category: Random  
> Prompt:“What do you mean she’s my new partner? She tried to kill me last week” “Sounds like a you problem”

Shepard doesn’t like the Turian C-Sec officer. From the moment she meets him, she has a distaste for him. He’s too forward, doesn’t think enough before he acts or talks. Shepard is all to aware that she can be just as impulsive as him, that to the outside world she must seem just like this, rushing into danger, but she’s also a very good diplomat. And an N-7. She has earned this. Garrus is just a hotshot.

She damn near refuses to take him along when he asks, but Shepard knows he could be useful. She is hunting down a Turian Spectre after all, having a Turian on board could be of advantage. She only hopes the benefits outweigh the headache he is sure to give her. 

Not long after they have started on their journey she already finds herself complaining to Joker. “I mean he listens to me in the field it’s just...I always wonder if he’s gonna mouth off or just charge in…”

Her friend raises an eyebrow at her. “You are worried about Garrus charging in? Not Wrex?”

Shepard sighs, putting her head in her hands. “Wrex is a whole other headache, trust me. Both of them plus Ashley’s xenophobia I just...It’s god damn exhausting. I fear every ground mission ending with team on team violence. It feels like everyone is this close from just killing each other.”

“Well”, Joker leans back in his chair. “You kinda brought this onto yourself. The way I see it, that’s a you problem.”

She let’s out a snorting laugh. “It’s only a me problem cause you don’t come on ground missions.”

“And I am veeeeery glad about that.”, he grins. “But seriously I see Wrex and Ashley, but what riles you up so much about Garrus? I know he took that risky shot when you first met him, but ever since he’s been following you like a puppy. Don’t you think you’re being a bit too cautious?”

“Maybe”, Shepard shrugs. “Maybe I’m being overly cautious, maybe I’m just looking out for future problems.”

“Well you sure seem FOCUSED on Garrus. You won’t shut up about him. If I had a dollar every time you said ‘He’s a good shot but…’ or ‘He’s smart but…’ I’d be rich enough to retire comfortably.”

Her eyes narrow. “What are you implying?”

“Nothing”

“Joker.”

“Except that you might have a crush and are masking it by trying to nitpick his performance.”

Shepard shakes her head. “You are bad at psychoanalysis. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.”

Joker laughs. “Awww, thanks.”

“And I do NOT have a crush on Garrus.”

“Sure you don’t.”

-

Shepard needs to clear her head, after Sidonis. She keeps wondering if she should’ve let Garrus shoot him, maybe then he wouldn’t have looked at her with anger, such sadness. Her search for some distraction drives her up to the cockpit where she all but slumps into Joker’s co-pilot chair. He gives her a look. 

“How’d it go?”

“Mediocre.”

“Is that what you put in your report?”

She scoffs and crosses her arms, sinking deeper into the chair. “Of course not. The report states that ‘Vakarian’s personal matter has been taken care off’.”

“Okay”, Joker turns to look at her. “Then why the mediocre?”

“Cause Garrus and I had a disagreement.”

He clasps his hands before his mouth. “Trouble in paradise!” 

“Joker, for the last time, Garrus and I are NOT dating.”

“And why not exactly?”

Shepard groans in frustration. “We’re just friends. I’m just glad to have him back! It gives me security.”

“Right and Tali and I don’t.”

She presses her lips together, forming a thin line. It’s true. She has been spending much more time in the main battery than in the cockpit or in engineering. Shepard keeps telling herself it’s because Garrus has been with her since the SR-1, but she has known Joker even longer than that and Tali has been on her crew just as long as Garrus. Something is special about him. Shepard tries her best not to think back to a conversation she and Joker had two years ago, on a bridge very similar to this. 

“Talk to him.”

She looks up at him. “Sorry, what?”

“Talk to him. Go to Garrus and talk it out with him and maybe ask him on a date while you’re at it.”

Shepard shakes her head at him again, but nevertheless gets up to follow Joker’s suggestion. “You are so wrong.”

“I am very, very right.”

-

“You know Shep, I just remembered two conversations we had in this very spot. Well...this spot and this spot but on the SR-1…”  
“Jesus”, Shepard puts her head in her hands. She knows all to well where this is going.

“If I remember correctly you complained about Garrus, I called him a you problem and said you had a crush…”

“If you don’t shut up I am going to have you removed from my ship.”

“And then the second time, I told you to talk to him and days later you were mysteriously dating.”

She groans. “Stop giving yourself credit, Joker.”

“Oh no, I am giving myself all the credit. I am the reason that you have a boyfriend in the middle of this very stressful war. You’re welcome”, he grins.

“Well then”, Shepard leans back in her chair, crossing her arms. “I am the reason you have a robot girlfriend in the middle of a very stressful war. You’re welcome.”

Joker bows in mock gratitude. “Thank you, Commander.”

Shepard sighs, then laughs. “Okay, thank you. Sincerely. If you hadn’t annoyed me into it I wouldn’t be with Garrus now and I love him very much so thank you.”

“If you five years ago could hear this…”

“Oh my”, she laughs even harder. “Her head would explode.”

**Author's Note:**

> Some good fun Joker content near the end of the project. Tomorrow's fic is gonna be the last one and I honestly can't really believe it. Thank you to everyone who has kept up this far, I'll see you tomorrow.


End file.
